That's right folks! It's that time again...time for the Red River Shootout, which features the OU Sooners versus the UT Longhorns. Now, I know that the NCAA would prefer me to call it the Red River Rivalry, but that's just dumb. They say "shootout" promotes violence, but after all, it's football (and not the powderpuff kind).
In honor of the big game, here are some jokes at the expense of UT's recent reputation for getting into trouble with the law. Enjoy!
- What do you call a drug ring in Austin? A huddle.
- Four UT Longhorns in a car , who's driving? The police.
- The UT Longhorns have adopted a new "Honor System". Yes your Honor, no your Honor.
- The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their defense, so theyhired a new defensive coordinator: F. Lee Bailey.
- How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall practice? Studying their Miranda rights.
- What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit? Will the defendant please rise?
- If you see Longhorn football player on a bike , why don't you swerve to hit him? It might be your bike!
- The Longhorns employ scouts. But to look out for cops , not to scout high school kids.
- I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new prison in Austin , Texas. It will allow players to walk to school.
- What do you call it when a Longhorn goes on vacation? Time off for good behavior.
- Why couldn't the Longhorn get into a huddle on the football field? It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.
- Obviously Coach Mack Brown is not paying his players if they have to resort to robbing people.
- Book 'em, Horns!
BOOMER SOONER!!!
1 comment:
Rule 16 of Bill Simmons' Rules for Being a Fan:
16. If you marry someone who roots for a different team than you, you can't be bullied into switching allegiances. You'd be amazed how often this happens ... and how often it's the guy who folds. The power of women to whip men never ceases to amaze me. The funniest part is when the guy starts making excuses: "Well, once I moved to Boston from New York, I got caught up in this whole Red Sox thing and the American League, so I stopped following the Mets," or "I never liked the Browns as much as she liked the Bengals, so I'm taking one for the team," or even my personal favorite, "We wanted our kids to root for the same team as their parents."
(Don't you love when "The sake of the kids" becomes a reason? What is this, like a Jewish-Catholic thing?)
Love you two. Holla when you get closer ;)
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